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WHC Renku Seminar
Haikuforum Seminar on "Traditional" Renku in English
Session 6: A Shiny Icicle, Completed
Paul MacNeil
In this 6th installment of the Seminar on Traditional Renku in English I shall add a little review of the shisan (12 verse) just finished and start to discuss the most prevalent type of renku today, the kasen (36 verses). Stay tuned if you are interested in writing renku, for the kasen will have verses submitted by the group.
My partners Ferris Gilli, Peggy Willis Lyles and I have decided to keep the working title as the name: A Shiny Icicle. Titles of renku most often come from the hokku, the only haiku in the work. Occasionally, at least today in English, a name can be pulled from any verse. This is a matter for the group to decide. I began this Seminar with two 12-stanza renku for purposes of brevity and perhaps clarity. This is not to say that shisan is easier to write, or to write well. Tadashi Kondo makes a special point that the shisan is the MOST difficult length because it is so short. For the whole to succeed, there is no room for any verse to be less than sparkling.
Whereas in kasen, it is often expected for the flow and variety that not all verses will be dynamic, especially beautiful, or attention getting. The shisan, as we practiced it, is less fettered by an exact form. Yes there are "rules" but each writer whose turn it is usually has a great range of freedom. In a way, this is more difficult too. Here is the complete shisan for a last look. Plainly the hokku is the beginning and the ageku, #12, is an ending in fairly typical renku style. The inner ten verses are all of a piece. This differs from kasen as we shall see later. Read it over. I hope you will find a pulse and flow. A question most writers ask themselves each time it is their turn: "What does this renku need now?" Other questions: "What direction [not subjects] are my partners heading?" "How can I help?" "Is a change needed?" It is for you to judge how well we did. I was once writing an Internet renku with a well-known haijin and teacher with whom I was pleased to even share partnership. In a middle section verse, the first comment after my latest stanza was to the effect: "That is so original, how did you ever think of that? I would not have in a million years." I'm humble, but not so much that the compliment failed to please. If every verse was off-the-wall or zany, that too would be boring and need variety. But every now and then surprise and delight are what a writer can best hope for.
A Shiny Icicle
a winter shisan renku
by Paul MacNeil, Peggy Willis Lyles, and Ferris Gilli
via Internet, February and March 2000
a shiny icicle
on the sidewalk --
pieces end-to-end
...............- pm
slowly the old bridge opens
for a northbound boat
...............- pwl
in her bedroom
a lingering scent
of the first magnolia
...............- fg
circled by police dogs
a tarp near the plowed field
...............- pwl
chalk dust and equations
follow the professor
through a proof
...............- pm
his proposal with an emerald
in the fancy restaurant
...............- fg
leaving church
the bride's granddaughter
asks for an autograph
...............- pwl
just into the arbor
the coolness of shade
...............- pm
steady rhythm
as a woodpecker taps
in the forest depths
...............- fg
dancers shift with the piper
from ballad to reel
...............- pm
my stumble
where the scenic trail
turns to face the moon
...............- pwl
the stone wall snares gossamer
from the wind
...............- fg
the form and rotation as we started:
verses# /Season /player A-C
1 winter A -hokku
2 B
3 C
4 B
5 A
6 C
7 B
8 A
9 C
10 A
11 autumn B
12 autumn C
the seasons and verse types as written:
1 winter
2 no-season
3 spring
4 spring
5 no-season
6 no-season, love
7 no-season, love
8 summer
9 no-season
10 no season
11 autumn
12 autumn
The 36-stanza renku that Basho popularized already had, even in the 17th Century, custom and tradition about renku structure and subjects. To honor this, both Japanese and western writers follow some of the traditions. As Basho taught, a renku must have all four seasons and love. Further, some seasons are better represented than others, and some topics should be included, especially the moon and spring flowers.
In the days of calligraphy and fine, handmade papers, a kasen once written was memorialized and copied on two large sheets. The occasion and location of the session was noted and the players identified. The pieces of paper were written on both sides which have come to mean different parts of the whole piece. The Japanese refer to the first sheet, back and front; second sheet back and front. I shall call them pages one through four. Of the 36 verses, six are on page one, six on page four, while the middle pages are a dozen each. There are some slight differences between pages three and two, but the most obvious things to note are the opening and the closing, pages one and four. As with shisan, the kasen renku begins with the only haiku, the hokku. Always with renku the verses flow from three- to two-line stanzas, alternating. Fewer elements in the shorter verse help the flow from one subject to another.
The opening page serves to introduce the players and set the scene for the rest of the work. Page one has the hokku and a moon, usually an autumn moon. Page two will have a moon also, a group of love verses (a minimum of two) and, for the next-to-last verse, a blossoming spring symbol in a group of spring verses. This finishes the first sheet of paper in the Japanese style. Page three has the third moon reference and another grouping of love verses. The last page, six stanzas, has a closing spring group, with the next-to-last another flower. In Japanese writing this is still usually cherry blossoms or cherry petals. The last verse, #36, is special in the way the hokku is special. It will always be a spring verse and is supposed to leave the reader and players in an upbeat mood; a positive or forward-looking verse. A good summing up! Most renku readers will pay special heed to the hokku (beginning verse), the last verse (the ageku) and the quality/beauty of the moon and flower stanzas. In between? As we shall see there is a lot of room for playfulness, humor, seriousness, the awe of nature, the foibles of humans, love and grief.
To restate a few basic things touched on in earlier installments, there are rules and traditions to renku, but to experienced players they are a framework of conduct and creativity. Variety is king; there is no narrative. The topics of verses, the links between verses, the grammar of verses, the seasons, action or inaction, day or night, indoors or out, humans or no, humans in the first, second, third persons or in combination, work, play, love, sex, kids -- all is fair game in renku, and all is variety. Tradition has given us a form, a structure to use. Why call it "renku" unless one at least knows the tradition? Having a form to follow or just knowing a form is necessary to have all players up to the same task. It is also Variety in the grand sense to vary from the rules.
It is an ancient art form. It is stylized. Recreating that style of renku, following on, is a great part of the fun. Abner Doubleday's baseball still has four balls and three strikes, soccer (futbol, football) has an offsides rule to prevent chaos, music is written on a staff of 5 lines, and music's tuning note "A" is 440 cycles per second on any oscilloscope even if played by a beginning oboe student. The renku subjects we use in English are of our own culture, not from old Basho's or earlier. We can see the fields from an airplane window, play baseball or football/soccer, eat at McDonald's, go to the movies. And we can still see a heron in a rice field spear a frog.
Next time, I'll outline a kasen, part of which will be open to all players.
-Paul (MacNeil)
Mon, March 13, 2000
Originally posted to WHChaikuforum as the sixth essay-lesson in the Haikuforum Seminar on "Traditional Renku in English".
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